June 6th
An amazing day. In a lot of ways. Hearts fluttered. Just prepping you for what you're about to read here on Crossing Borders (significant title reference). After finishing our last day of classes for the week, we all headed back to the apartments for very much needed naps. I actually think that I was asleep within an accurate 3 or so seconds. When we all woke up and the sugar plums were out of our dreaming little heads, we gathered for an extra mini-trip into a city called Ramtha! Ramtha is the northern-most city of Jordan and is known for being one of the more affected areas of Jordan as it is so close to the Syrian border. When we arrived in the city, there was certainly a bit of a different feel to it. It seemed slightly more isolated and less populated, although not hugely. All in all, it was a cute little town with many shops and many residents allegedly even more surprised by our presence than those in Irbid. After driving around for a while, just observing the sights around us, we stopped in a Syrian sweet shop. Its walls were lined with chocolate of every kind. It was colorful and happy and tasty. Everyone bought (beautiful) boxes and filled them with all different treats. We were all very excited for the oncoming sugar influxes. Post-candy run, we walked through the streets of Ramtha. It was a very different experience from our treks through Irbid, which I think we are all pretty used to at this point. There was, as I said, much more interest in our being there and it certainly made our time there unique. Pictures to follow.
Once back on the bus, I and everyone else were pretty content, laxly lounging and of course staring out the windows (as is my favorite thing to do). And so, it was pretty unexpected when Muhammed turned around and calmly informed us that we were about a mile from the Syrian border.... Personally, this is when the heart fluttering began for me. The excitement was obvious. Everyone was jumping out of their seats to crane their necks and cameras as far forward as possible. We were able to drive right up to the border, although no closer as it had been a dangerous day there on the other side of the line (however, we will be returning on Monday to, inshallah, enter the gate). Many pictures were taken and dreams were realized as the entire bus was very aware of all that is going on in Syria and we were basically yards away from the country. Many of the others here are International Relations or Government majors, so their studies were quite literally coming to life in front of their eyes. I, on the other hand, was majorly perplexed. It felt completely surreal to be so incredibly close to what is currently the most war-torn country in the world, yet be as far as humanly possible from what is happening there at the same time. I don't think it's something that is meant to ever make sense to a person. How humans can be vicious and kind...so giving and so merciless. I pray that Syria's people, who are fighting so hard right now for a revolution, will make it out of this, whether it is in a month, two years or five. Inshallah, peace will be found. Because it cannot be denied that we are all, forever and always, just people (yes, this was a very emotional occasion).
Driving away from the border, thoughts were abundant. And they only grew as we then proceeded to be admitted to a refugee camp. The residents of this camp, as in many others, are not permitted to exit the gates. The camp was lined with large, green buildings which used to be clothing factories. Each houses almost 3,000 people. A necessarily astounding number. Driving through the camp, we could not take pictures, only observe. I must say...I felt guilty even being there. It was amazing to be able to see a refugee camp, having studied them and heard about them for so long...but I could not help but feel like we were exploiting their lives. Not many people were actually present..perhaps large numbers leave with Jordanian friends on Thursdays or maybe they were all just inside. Either way, the only people we really saw were kids on the streets by apartment buildings playing soccer. They were running around and laughing like any other children should be, but it made me all the sadder. Because I hate knowing that losing everything and living in a house that is not your home should become normal for anyone. The world is so much joy and so, so much pain. Why this balance must exist, I will nod in agreement to but never have an answer to. God bless every last one of them. And every other person who is suffering, because I'm very aware that the numbers and situations are endless. Leaving the camp was certainly more morose than entering, despite it being one of the more "wealthy" refugee sites.
Disclaimer: Vanessa reveals personal passions:
On the way back from Ramtha, Waed pointed out a hospital that was very close to the Syrian border. It is allegedly filled with patients who are refugees, injured after trying to escape Syria and members of the conflict itself who are afflicted with war injuries. From this moment, I absolutely could not get my mind away from that hospital. For those of you who are not aware, I am very much set on the medical field. However, with my new-found passion for Arabic and the Middle East, I haven't really been able to pinpoint the perfect occupation for myself which would be capable of combining my two loves (different options lead to very specific paths..medicine is complicated). One sole desire which has always been present in my heart and soul, even through the times that it melded into the background, has been working with Doctors without Borders (blog title reference number two). And passing by that particular hospital had my mind absolutely racing. It was a strange moment to be thinking so far into the future, but I felt right. I cannot even explain the sense of positivity I had. Whether it is as a nurse or a doctor etc., I will positively (inshallah) make it back to the Middle East and spend my time working in hospitals such as this one. Forgive me for over-detailing, but I have never seen myself in a "normal" future. I've lived too much "not at all normal" for that. I could just never put my finger on what exactly it was that was going to satisfy my ambitions and desires to do the most that I could for people who genuinely needed my help. While I have always dreamed of medicine, I never just wanted to be a doctor working in a clinic or a hospital near home. Not that there's anything (at all) wrong with that, but it just didn't fit in my mind. And this. Is what I have always known, but never been able to put into comprehensible thought for myself. I want to return to the Middle East and work where there is greatest need. I would love to be able to come back to Jordan, or even Lebanon, but I know this is what I want. I have absolutely no idea whether or not I will accomplish this...or if I will eventually be able to work for Doctors without Borders on missions to Arabic speaking countries (the more experienced dream) but my heart is set. Again, apologies for the rambles. But, I truly do not see the world with borders. This is why being at the Syrian border was so surreal. I don't want to separate anyone from the resources or the human support that they require. I want to work in a way that I can show the importance of true equality. Because that is something that goes so outside the classroom and something that I have loved living here in Jordan. Every day. I am not aware if I'm making sense anymore, but if you've read to the end, here's yet another huge shukran!
The rest of the night was spent at another lovely (delicious) dinner at Waed and Muhammad's and then a completely unexpected (and extremely heated) debate about the death penalty and gun control with Kaitlyn, Zach and Chris. (Which coincidentally also lasted until around 6:00am...) And during dinner, I asked Waed if I could possibly be able to get into the hospital that we saw just to be able to see it (expecting a no)... and while this is too dangerous (for disease-ish reasons, not warring reasons), we are going to go to the King Abdullah hospital on campus! Where I will, inshallah, get to explore the war injuries ward and maybe even get to see different cases that they have! If this happens, I promise to make a separate blog for this occasion in which I will scribe every blink of an eye.
Anyway! More incredible and unforgettable days in Jordan :) Shukran again for reading! Post from today and many pictures to follow!
An amazing day. In a lot of ways. Hearts fluttered. Just prepping you for what you're about to read here on Crossing Borders (significant title reference). After finishing our last day of classes for the week, we all headed back to the apartments for very much needed naps. I actually think that I was asleep within an accurate 3 or so seconds. When we all woke up and the sugar plums were out of our dreaming little heads, we gathered for an extra mini-trip into a city called Ramtha! Ramtha is the northern-most city of Jordan and is known for being one of the more affected areas of Jordan as it is so close to the Syrian border. When we arrived in the city, there was certainly a bit of a different feel to it. It seemed slightly more isolated and less populated, although not hugely. All in all, it was a cute little town with many shops and many residents allegedly even more surprised by our presence than those in Irbid. After driving around for a while, just observing the sights around us, we stopped in a Syrian sweet shop. Its walls were lined with chocolate of every kind. It was colorful and happy and tasty. Everyone bought (beautiful) boxes and filled them with all different treats. We were all very excited for the oncoming sugar influxes. Post-candy run, we walked through the streets of Ramtha. It was a very different experience from our treks through Irbid, which I think we are all pretty used to at this point. There was, as I said, much more interest in our being there and it certainly made our time there unique. Pictures to follow.
Once back on the bus, I and everyone else were pretty content, laxly lounging and of course staring out the windows (as is my favorite thing to do). And so, it was pretty unexpected when Muhammed turned around and calmly informed us that we were about a mile from the Syrian border.... Personally, this is when the heart fluttering began for me. The excitement was obvious. Everyone was jumping out of their seats to crane their necks and cameras as far forward as possible. We were able to drive right up to the border, although no closer as it had been a dangerous day there on the other side of the line (however, we will be returning on Monday to, inshallah, enter the gate). Many pictures were taken and dreams were realized as the entire bus was very aware of all that is going on in Syria and we were basically yards away from the country. Many of the others here are International Relations or Government majors, so their studies were quite literally coming to life in front of their eyes. I, on the other hand, was majorly perplexed. It felt completely surreal to be so incredibly close to what is currently the most war-torn country in the world, yet be as far as humanly possible from what is happening there at the same time. I don't think it's something that is meant to ever make sense to a person. How humans can be vicious and kind...so giving and so merciless. I pray that Syria's people, who are fighting so hard right now for a revolution, will make it out of this, whether it is in a month, two years or five. Inshallah, peace will be found. Because it cannot be denied that we are all, forever and always, just people (yes, this was a very emotional occasion).
Driving away from the border, thoughts were abundant. And they only grew as we then proceeded to be admitted to a refugee camp. The residents of this camp, as in many others, are not permitted to exit the gates. The camp was lined with large, green buildings which used to be clothing factories. Each houses almost 3,000 people. A necessarily astounding number. Driving through the camp, we could not take pictures, only observe. I must say...I felt guilty even being there. It was amazing to be able to see a refugee camp, having studied them and heard about them for so long...but I could not help but feel like we were exploiting their lives. Not many people were actually present..perhaps large numbers leave with Jordanian friends on Thursdays or maybe they were all just inside. Either way, the only people we really saw were kids on the streets by apartment buildings playing soccer. They were running around and laughing like any other children should be, but it made me all the sadder. Because I hate knowing that losing everything and living in a house that is not your home should become normal for anyone. The world is so much joy and so, so much pain. Why this balance must exist, I will nod in agreement to but never have an answer to. God bless every last one of them. And every other person who is suffering, because I'm very aware that the numbers and situations are endless. Leaving the camp was certainly more morose than entering, despite it being one of the more "wealthy" refugee sites.
Disclaimer: Vanessa reveals personal passions:
On the way back from Ramtha, Waed pointed out a hospital that was very close to the Syrian border. It is allegedly filled with patients who are refugees, injured after trying to escape Syria and members of the conflict itself who are afflicted with war injuries. From this moment, I absolutely could not get my mind away from that hospital. For those of you who are not aware, I am very much set on the medical field. However, with my new-found passion for Arabic and the Middle East, I haven't really been able to pinpoint the perfect occupation for myself which would be capable of combining my two loves (different options lead to very specific paths..medicine is complicated). One sole desire which has always been present in my heart and soul, even through the times that it melded into the background, has been working with Doctors without Borders (blog title reference number two). And passing by that particular hospital had my mind absolutely racing. It was a strange moment to be thinking so far into the future, but I felt right. I cannot even explain the sense of positivity I had. Whether it is as a nurse or a doctor etc., I will positively (inshallah) make it back to the Middle East and spend my time working in hospitals such as this one. Forgive me for over-detailing, but I have never seen myself in a "normal" future. I've lived too much "not at all normal" for that. I could just never put my finger on what exactly it was that was going to satisfy my ambitions and desires to do the most that I could for people who genuinely needed my help. While I have always dreamed of medicine, I never just wanted to be a doctor working in a clinic or a hospital near home. Not that there's anything (at all) wrong with that, but it just didn't fit in my mind. And this. Is what I have always known, but never been able to put into comprehensible thought for myself. I want to return to the Middle East and work where there is greatest need. I would love to be able to come back to Jordan, or even Lebanon, but I know this is what I want. I have absolutely no idea whether or not I will accomplish this...or if I will eventually be able to work for Doctors without Borders on missions to Arabic speaking countries (the more experienced dream) but my heart is set. Again, apologies for the rambles. But, I truly do not see the world with borders. This is why being at the Syrian border was so surreal. I don't want to separate anyone from the resources or the human support that they require. I want to work in a way that I can show the importance of true equality. Because that is something that goes so outside the classroom and something that I have loved living here in Jordan. Every day. I am not aware if I'm making sense anymore, but if you've read to the end, here's yet another huge shukran!
The rest of the night was spent at another lovely (delicious) dinner at Waed and Muhammad's and then a completely unexpected (and extremely heated) debate about the death penalty and gun control with Kaitlyn, Zach and Chris. (Which coincidentally also lasted until around 6:00am...) And during dinner, I asked Waed if I could possibly be able to get into the hospital that we saw just to be able to see it (expecting a no)... and while this is too dangerous (for disease-ish reasons, not warring reasons), we are going to go to the King Abdullah hospital on campus! Where I will, inshallah, get to explore the war injuries ward and maybe even get to see different cases that they have! If this happens, I promise to make a separate blog for this occasion in which I will scribe every blink of an eye.
Anyway! More incredible and unforgettable days in Jordan :) Shukran again for reading! Post from today and many pictures to follow!
Wow!
ReplyDeleteYou write beautifully. Of course I am more concerned than ever, but also extremely happy that this is turning out to be every bit the experience that you wanted it to be. Prouder than ever.
Love you.